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Idiocy is incurable. Doctors about the most stupid delusions of patients

No matter how far science and medicine have gone, the population, alas, in most cases remains dark and dense. At least, any health worker will confirm this to you, remembering what absurd and absurd questions each second patient asks and what myths people stubbornly believe in. The Reddit portal asked doctors to recall the most unexpected questions and stories of dumb-eyed patients. With his own hands, publishes the most marasmic of them.

"I had to explain to an adult that teeth should be cleaned from all sides, and not just the part that is visible when we smile. And also that dental floss is not a fad for rich people."

"I convinced a 40-year-old woman that you should not try to whiten your teeth with a cleaning agent."

"How can I get tired of explaining to people that you can not sleep in contact lenses, and if you wear them for too long, you will have to remove them surgically. For God's sake, do not sleep in them!"

"Recently, a patient with a heart attack was brought to us. I asked how long his chest pains lasted, he replied that 12 months. Then I asked if someone in his family had seizures. It turned out that his father died from a heart attack and a brother died of a heart attack. With such heredity and chest pains, in all that time he didn’t even bother to get tested! I said he needed a good kick in the ass. Fortunately, the patient agreed. "

"I am a paramedic. Once I took a woman to give birth in an ambulance and put the mother's baby on my chest. I ask what name she will give him, and the mother replied:" I thought you called him! ""

“I work as a pharmacist. Once a woman called and began to complain that Viagra was not helping her husband. I began to explain to the lady that in order for the effect to take place, the patient needs some additional“ stimulation. ”The woman cried out in surprise:“ Mine ?! ”and hung handset. "

"Apparently, some people are strangely taught sex education. One patient was sure that you could get pregnant from the seat on the bus if a man was sitting there before you."

"The patient was very surprised that the 30 or more cups of coffee he drinks during the day are the cause of his anxiety and insomnia. He said he was not ready to give up this habit and switch to decaf coffee."

"The pregnant patient was absolutely sure that she would give birth to a boy, since she already had a daughter, and she believed that children are born strictly in the order of a girl-boy-girl-boy."

"A 19-year-old patient came with a complaint of abdominal pain in the morning. He assured that it lasted all his life. I asked him questions, sent for laboratory tests. It turned out that the pain always goes away as soon as he eats. He just woke up hungry, thinking it is pain. "

"A young girl with a very worried look told that the day before she and the boy were alone, and he satisfied her with her fingers. After that, she felt a rapid heartbeat, weakness, she caught her breath. She was very worried that she had a fit. I had to explain to her that no one has ever died of orgasm. "

“A friend-nurse told me about an elderly patient who was prescribed candles. A couple of days later, he came back and said that he had become worse and“ your pills do not help. ”He ate them! Nobody explained to him what to do with them .

"My girlfriend works as a doctor. Somehow a couple came to see her. The woman complained of feeling unwell, and my doctor friend asked if there was a chance that the woman was pregnant. The woman replied that this was out of the question because she was taking birth control pills. A friend clarified whether she accepts them every day, to which she received an answer that she feels unwell from them, so sometimes a partner takes pills instead of her. "

Any doctor even with a little experience will have a dozen wild and funny stories from practice, especially if he is from Russia.